Dog blog # 3: Setting the record straight…



One, chew, three...

We are living dangerously close to the edge of a chew-induced breakdown. Sceptics have asked: “how much carnage can a Labrador really cause?” Well… (rolling eyes).

This blog catalogued items, destroyed by dog over a period of 13 months (there is that unlucky number again!) and yes, one Labrador can cause maximum damage in a surprisingly short space of time. They need to be watched, as Trevor from Cell C explains, like a hawk…

So, to set the record straight, 90% of what I have blogged so far is true. The other 10% was edited, as exact emotion and frustration at discovering yet another item that has been destroyed by THE DOG, can’t be shared in polite conversations. For your safety and mine, I have deleted those bits.

Also, Willem* our friendly insurance man* has a complete list of destruction, available for download. It might take some time if you are on dialup. I would give you his number, but Willem is strangely, not taking my calls anymore…

So to move on to the expensive stuff:

Furniture:

To date we have a spare-bed with chewed planks and a very uncomfortable mattress with springs sticking out, a gnawed coffee table, rickety study chair with one leg shorter than the other (and I think there should be four legs in total?).

A frayed carpet, unravelled patio couch, scatter pillows with corners missing, scratch, claw and bite marks on the wooden doors (cool for Halloween, not so cool for everyday décor). Which brings me to the missing chunks of plaster out of our walls…she can actually eat walls?!

Pool – brand new addition to our house

Extremely expensive home addition might not have been such a great idea with Lab in the family. The pump was destroyed on the first day of installation, electrical pool wires were dug up and chewed (shocking!), pool chemical floater-thing is taking on water and slowly going under, pool brush, I am sure we had one? Thank goodness we have not bought a creepy-crawly yet!

Household stuff number 2:

One council issued municipal wheelie bin without wheels – tick. One iron lock (to keep dogs out) – swallowed (keys still on their way). Two gutters chewed mid-way, two Jo-Jo water tanks - leaking (Craig is really eco-sensitive), various hosepipes and half a lawnmower, all the vitamins and period table ingredients that can be found in the garage and in paint tins, screw drivers, one rake and two brooms, one (never been used) blue bicycle – mine, one Citroen Smurf headlight, still semi-attached to car.

So, if you are still a non-believer, I invite you to a show-and-tell at my house. Be sure to bring your expensive stuff. Libby likes variety. ‘Nuff said.