Libby, our very intelligent Lab, after the reading the first blog, embarked on a wild rebellious chewing spree, upping her usual damage-level from medium to full blast. She has religiously been adding to our weekly e-mail list of “can we claim for this stuff?” to our insurance agent.
It is official... Willem* said, we are not getting an Out Bonus this year.
It seems we are not getting much out of Libby’s training either. Our Lab has decided she is a chewer and that is just that. So, to continue from our previous list of digested items, here goes:
Everyday household items:
Libby likes having a comfort “lappie” (that is a blanket) around. Dishcloths are good, bedding, towels and sheets even better! She has chewed through three doggie beds and now plays the homeless-sleeping-on-the-cold-floor act, very well.
Remote controls don’t control anything they were meant to anymore, mute buttons are missing and gates and garage doors have been known to open spontaneously when barking continuously at one pitch. This trick has also resulted in a change in the frequency of other remotes. Libby can now open our neighbour’s gate as well. We think it is b-flat.
Recyclable materials:
This would be organic, paper and plastic. She has chewed it all.
More specifically: bank statements, instruction manuals, invoices, ID documents and “please-do-not-lose-this-important-piece-of-paper”, have been confetti-shredded and scattered all over the house and garden.
Other than paper, plastic poses no problem for the canine. Food levitates of kitchen counters and dishes have been miraculously cleaned. We are truly living green.
Very important work stuff:
Cell phone chargers, laptop bags, back-up cd’s, a recently rescued 3G card and a half chewed rusty battery.
Garden:
Now this is an absolutely no hold bars, death match. Giant craters have appeared in the lawn, various trellis-like garden features…trashed, an expensive water feature has no pipe (hence no water and can actually not be classified as a feature of any kind). Seedlings, shrubs and trees – nothing is safe. She has flattened petunias, disagreed with landscaping plans and re-homed several lavender bushes, butterfly bushes and replanted an agapanthus (upside down, cause the roots are prettier), killed three silver birch trees, rose bushes (I can hear Ludwig shrieking, but not even the thorns stopped her) and an entire veggie patch (picket fence included).
What was that? It is only material, worldly things, you say? Bah, you attempt CSI: Northriding style to identify little disfigured pieces, reattach and order them in sequence to ultimately decipher what the heck the chew-thing was to begin with!
Then talk to me. Or even better… call Willem*. The call will be recorded.
Then talk to me. Or even better… call Willem*. The call will be recorded.
 |
| Will chew everything and everyone... |
* Willem is our friendly insurance man. Willem is immune to tears, threats and media-contacts. We have tried it all. Note to self: must go higher up the insurance ladder and speak to Willem’s boss. Maybe he can help. And no, Willem would not love a
No comments:
Post a Comment