“Labradors are highly intelligent, easily trained, ideal family companions” said the website. Bah. Please come and collect ours. There is a mistake, ours has a flaw. We think her ears are just attached to keep her head straight and not for listening. Her attention for focus (other than on food) is shocking. She is out…of…control.
I don’t like coming home to disasters anymore, I have begged my mom to be foster-mom, have suggested lovely alternative homes for her… cried, yelled, punished (bad mommy, I know) and simply given up.
Our lovely little lab had gone for training. Three months of every Saturday playing the class clown, paid of, for well, those three months only. Now, I am running out of excuses…
Training went as follow:
Mistaken identity:
If your name is Mareli (most often pronounced Marley) and your dog is called Libby and you have seen the movie Marley and Me…guess who people assume is Marley in this picture? I can excuse the dog trainer on day one, bending down and pointing a finger at Libby and saying: “Now, Marley, SIT.” No response. This confusion did not help when trainer will yell commands and we were not sure who she was talking to?! I often ended up sitting… with Libby looking like the proud commander of the human.
Labelling a dog
Libby was labelled disruptive and banished to end of the line, which equates to being sent to the naughty corner. This is to keep other dogs focused and contain Libby’s B’s (bouncing, bobbing and barking). Well, happy day, frolicking in the grass and scratching. Being at the end of the line, meant that Libby did not really think she was in class, thus did not have to pay attention. I think we missed some important bits of obedience 101.
Making friends
Muppet, the nervous rescue dog did not attend class for three weeks after Libby said hallo. Apparently pouncing on someone is not acceptable social behaviour, unless you are Portuguese.
Sharing is not caring
Eating other dogs’ treats… not nice. Following other dogs and humans, when it is not your turn to go… not on. Barking and sniffing other dogs who are concentrating.. not on either. Making a number two in the middle of your lesson, in front of everyone… is über embarrassing. Chewing your trainer’s shoes = expulsion!
Opposites
When ask to walk, Libby would leopard-crawl on her tummy. Stay meant, let’s go, let’s go! Sit, meant scratching for fleas. Focus meant bark at everything that moved. Also plotting next escape route seemed to be a consistent trick.
Until I figured it out. You have to start each sentence with: “Libby (pause to get focus), will you freak’n please (begging tone)…SIT (in booming voice) and whip out that doggie biscuit in a flash. I have found that the same trick works on a Husband too.
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And yes, I am very proud of my certificate:
Mareli has successfully passed Elementary Beginner Obedience training and can sit, stay and walk on a leash.
Libby still can’t…
Libby chewing on her: "I came third in Obedience Training" rosette. Also pictured is Monkey, her faithful training chew toy of three months, who sadly, after graduation parted with her stuffing.
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