Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Dog blog # 11: Dear Santa Paws…I mean Clause

Dog blog # 11: Dear Santa Paws…I mean Clause

‘Tis the season to be jolly – fa la la la la…and BLAH!
Our Labrador has been upping the festive cheer, by sharing mayhem and foolishness where ever she goes. She has improvised her own decorations, choked on the tinsel and is barking at our flickering festive lights – non stop!

Our Christmas tree has been uprooted, WWE wrestled, trashed, squashed, licked and finally killed. Libby 1 - Tree 0. Clearly we are not entering the holiday season in a good mood – yes “The Grinch” is at our house this year. If I have to rescue one more chewed Christmas bauble, I am cancelling Christmas…for ever. And can someone please tell me what happened to the angel on top of the tree?

Important notes when planning Christmas with a Labrador in the house:

Misseltoe and Holly, should not be ingested by dog.
Sticky tape does not stick after a dog-lick.
Tinsel and glitter pooh is not fun to pick up.
Sherry and eggnog makes a dog run in circles for hours.
Ho-ho-ho equals howl- howl- howl.
Christmas carollers are to be chased away and barked at.
Neatly wrapped and stacked presents should be chewed on – always.



Which brings me to the debate and negotiations with Santa:
Libby claims that she has been good this year?!! This only makes sense if you understand canine-logic. She has also drawn up her very own list of goodies that she would like to receive in her Christmas stocking (Libby’s is the one with the chewed hole at the bottom and frazzled top).  She is going to be in for a big surprise…

On her list of must-have’s this year:
·       A supersize chewmongous. This is a rawhide bone that is roughly the same size as dog and is guaranteed to keep them chewing for ages…uhmm, try four days. So, she would like one to last from Monday to Thursday, and then another for the weekend…please.
·      To emphasise this, she has been humming Boney M non-stop.
·      A new doggie bed. One that she promises not to eat or destroy. High five!
·      Her very own couch. It is nice to share, but growing dogs need room to stretch out and this is simply not possible if human is also on the couch.
·      A new harness for walking. The current one is a little tight around the mid section and Libby is peeling out…in places no respectable dog should be peeling. Also florescent pink is sooo last season.
·      One “Throw the ball” invention that can last the whole day. Humans get tired too quickly.
·      A biltong dispenser with unlimited amounts of biltong, treats, Black Forrest Ham etc.

Also the milk and cookies for Santa will be stored way up high…on top of the fridge. We hope Santa finds it. If not, Libby will have to make do with her Rudolph the rednose Lab- outfit and empty stocking for another year.

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